The Real Live Coach: FEAR MADE ME DO IT! (Part I)

Updated: Feb 12



FEAR a four-letter word, only one syllable. Unspoken and masked by many who possess it. Often downplayed, underestimated, and misdiagnosed. Yet fear has been the death of many unopened businesses, unrealized life changing inventions, and many undiscovered soul stirring talents.


In my lifetime I have heard many times the saying, “the road is paved with good intentions,” but I would venture to add that the same paved road is also covered with the sparkly remnants of shattered hopes and dreams because of fear.


Fear has taken down many giants before they could get started, and it usually does not take much effort. The simple thought of moving beyond one’s comfort zone in an act or task, can send someone one who is controlled by fear into an emotional tailspin, causing them to shut down, abort the mission, or jump out a plane without a parachute. Why is that?

As someone who was once tormented and crippled by fear. For quite some time I could not explain how or why, each time I had the desire and tools and perfect timing to move forward. The minute I made a step to do anything, fear would bear hug me and not let me go. That cycle happened countless times over the course of many years. There were things I knew I could have done and should have done but fear stood in the way. It was a tall mountain that I could not go around, go through, or climb over, as it overtook me every time.


I was smart, capable, and had accomplished many things. Yet, it troubled me that there were areas in my life that I felt unfulfilled, and each time I tried to tackle them head on, fear stood in the way and beat me down. It was almost as if fear was saying you can accomplish this, but I will not allow you to accomplish that.


My first thought each time was to complain to God (in my heart and out loud at times) about how He allowed all this to happen for so long. I would be upset for a little while gripe and complain and try again later, (the same thing the same way) only to receive the same result. While I complained, I never sought the counsel of God regarding what was really going on with me and fear. When ever I posed the question why He had not done what I needed him to do. His response was simply, “When will you learn to lean on me?” He would also replay the same scriptures to me, one of them was:


For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV





I had to sit with (apply the word and instruction) and assess everyplace in my life fear had taken control from God. I had to become watchful and intentional about giving those things back to God. It was hard, but necessary if I was going to go beyond the wall of fear, the emotions associated with fear, and the attachments I held on to, thinking I was protecting myself.


So what if I failed! So what if they laughed at me! So what if I did not have all the answers! So what if I did not have all the resources to make it perfect! So what if they did not support me! So what if I had to walk it alone! I had to release myself from the opinions, ideas, and acceptance or lack thereof from others, and the expectations I had placed on them and myself. I also had to release myself from the internal conversations and negative self talk that held me hostage for many years!


I had to work through the spirit of perfectionism, that I had taken on to keep myself from looking like a failure to those who were waiting for me to fail. In learning to be okay with failure and accept that failure is a part of life and the growth process, I was able to see not the end of the road, but instead an opportunity to start again and give myself the grace to grow through the process and journey. Through failure there are many opportunities to build character, integrity, wisdom, knowledge, understanding, humility, compassion, perseverance, patience, and reliance on God instead of self.


Giving myself the permission to release fear, allowed me to open myself to surrender, which proved to be more beneficial in my journey. Instead of trying to control the uncontrollable, I embraced it (with wisdom and instruction)! Please know that fear did not just disappear (it was with me for many decades). It always waits for an opportunity to creep back in, and tell me what to do. However, the more watchful I am, I can see and feel it trying to ease its way back into the driver seat. That is when I tell it to have a seat, and I continue to move forward.


Always remember Fear is not your friend, it will act as if it is on your side. However, it is driven by spirits that do not have your best interest at heart.



You can kick the spirit of fear, with intention, and support (from the Holy Spirit).


[1st] - You must acknowledge that Fear is an issue.

[2nd] - You must surrender your will to the Father, as the spirit of fear must submit to Him

[3rd] - Submit to the process and work towards becoming consistent

[4th] - Take it day by day; Show up everyday with intention and remain watchful

[5th] - Give yourself grace to make mistakes and experience setbacks

[6th] - Seek the Counsel of God/Holy Spirit daily

[7th] - Read & Study the Word of God*


*The Word of God provides wisdom, instruction, and God speaks through it, if you open yourself to hear Him through it!


You've Got This!


Remember to ALWAYS Live Life In Purpose, on Purpose!